Just When Everything Was Going So Well…

I’ve been running in pain pretty much since the beginning of this whole half-marathon training journey. It was bearable at first—more of a nagging ache I could keep under control with a mix of stretching, weight training, and a whole lot of positive thinking.

A couple of months ago, I saw a physical therapist a few times. He gave me some solid exercises that helped a lot, and for a while, I thought I had it under control and was in the clear. And honestly, for a little while, I was.

But then the miles started to add up. And so did the pain.

It’s been getting progressively worse, especially in my left glute. Every time my foot strikes the ground, it sends a sharp, grimacing pain down to my left foot, which eventually starts tingling, then going numb, then straight-up agonizing. I tried everything—more stretching, more strength work—but instead of helping, it only seemed to make things worse.

Last Sunday was when everything came crashing down. I laced up my shoes like I always do, determined to knock out my ten-miler. I felt good that morning, and I was ready—or at least I thought I was. But barely a mile in, the pain hit me so hard I had to stop. I tried to push through, trying to relax, but it was impossible. I had no choice but to turn around and limp home, feeling completely crushed. Every step back felt heavy, like all the hard work I’d put in was slipping away from me.

The next day, desperate to stay active, I went to the gym thinking I could at least walk at an incline on the treadmill, get my heart rate up, and not lose too much fitness. But even walking quickly was more than I could handle. I climbed off the treadmill, the pain too harsh.

Today, right now, I am supposed to be running a 10K. It started about an hour ago. I’m not there and feel so left out, like the world is moving on without me and I'm stuck on the sidelines, watching.

I have a friend who’s a big believer in acupuncture. She swears by it and has been telling me for years that it has helped her with all kinds of injuries. I’ve always been curious but never tried it. Last week, though, I made an appointment with her acupuncturist. I’ve been twice now, and it's making a difference. The pain isn’t gone, but it’s noticeably better.

The catch? She doesn’t want me running for two whole weeks. Two weeks!
My race is in three weeks.

When she told me that, I felt very discouraged. I’ve worked so hard for this race. I've pushed through sickness, pain, self-doubt—everything. And now, when I'm so close, I can't run? I don't want to lose everything I've worked so hard to build.

I haven’t told my son yet. He’s been training too, and he's doing well; I don’t want to dump all this on him. I don’t want him to worry about me or feel like he has to slow down his excitement because of my mess.

Now I’m stuck in limbo. Do I cancel my flight and hotel, or do I still go to Brooklyn, soak up the experience, and just be there to cheer him on? My heart wants to race, my body... not so much.

Right now, I’m trying to maintain my fitness by using the elliptical. It’s not the same as running—not even close—but it doesn’t hurt, and it keeps my lungs working and my legs moving. I’m holding on to the hope that it’s enough to keep my conditioning from completely falling apart.

Honestly, I have no idea how this will end. Will I be able to line up on race day and run the 13.1 like I dreamed, or will I be standing on the sidelines, clapping through my heartbreak?

Stay tuned. I’m still fighting for my finish line.